Why I read Tarot
I was recently reflecting on my tarot journey and was surprised to find that I had unintentionally sought out a perfect tool for my healing years before I allowed myself to even recognize the wound.
I, like many others, picked up a tarot deck to try and predict the future. Okay that's not the complete truth. What I desperately wanted was to pull cards and have them tell me everything was going to be fine.
In case you don't know, that’s not how tarot works. For a while I sought out confirmation of my desires, hopes and dreams in my tarot cards. I did some pretty spectacular mental gymnastics to turn a ‘negative’ reading into something positive. As you might have guessed, no matter how I tried to contour the meaning of the cards to fit my desires, that perfect relationship didn't manifest, my job stress didn’t decrease, my bank account did not begin overflowing. But something kept me reaching for my cards each day. I keep up the ritual and soon my experience began to change.
I started noticing that my daily draw was giving me a clear and accurate reflection of how I was going feel that day. I wasn’t predicting actions or events, I was getting a mirror that showed me how I REALLY felt. As someone who had long ago had to turn off her feelings in order to survive this was real magic.
It’s only now as I’m further along the meandering path that is healing, I can see how much that reflection helped me to heal. The non-judgemental reflection of my emotions, good, bad, tired, excited, hopeful, fearful, just from a simple card was revolutionary. I had a daily dose of validation to counteract the years of invalidation. I had found a medicine for an ailment that I wasn't even ready to acknowledge.
Tarot can do much more than reflect emotions but that is the relationship I created with it and it will always speak to me strongest in this language. I’m so grateful for this relationship with Tarot. And yes I sometimes get eye rolls or dismissive comments about Tarot. But just like any relationship, I don’t accept unsolicited imput from this outside the relationship. Find relationships with those that help you heal, even if it is a little unorthodox!
With Love,
Erin
