Incorporate
A full moon in Capricorn, after the review of Mercury retrograde and uncovering of eclipse season seems like the opportune time for me to share this message -
It’s time to FULLY incorporate what you’ve learned.
It’s time to embody what you know in your bones to be true.
I’m not the person who just receives messaged like an incoming email. For me it’s usually a barrage of dodge balls the universe hurls my way until I finally pay attention. This message smacked me in the face when something simply caught my eye. I might’ve missed it I’d taken a different turn or been looking the other direction but as soon as I noticed it the meaning was clear. And like all messages I found it has been echoed in the astrological weather, in conversations with friends and in what I read and watch. Here is how this message came to me.
I was out in my yard and about to take another step when I noticed a small brown lizard in the grass. There are lizards in the PNW; but they’re not an animal I commonly see. So at first I was surprised to be seeing the little guy, and then entranced. As he lay still, I saw his tail was shiny and new. My first thought - A shiny new tail! Don't we all want something shiny and new?!
But how did he get that shiny new tail…….
He had to be willing to let go of a part of himself. He was willing to face the pain of losing something in order to save his life.
As if written in black in white was the reality that this is the work I’ve been doing over the past 18+ months –I’ve been learning how to lose a part of myself in order to live.
My first lesson was allowing myself to recognize something had my tail. The thing that had me was unhealthy, draining, non-reciprocal relationships with work, family and friends. These relationships were holding me down, taking my energy and threatening my life, my happiness and my future.
Once I was this was clear, I had to have the strength to trust that if I sacrificed/ripped away from those relationships, not only would I not die but I would be able to grow a new tail. For a very long time I didn't believe I could do that. I didn't believe I was worth being free. I minimized and numbed the pain I was feeling out of fear. I feared further pain. I feared change. I feared that nothing better was even possible.
Slowly I came to believe I am worthy of a life full of joy. I began shed the belief it was my job to contort, conform or remain stuck under the expectations of others. Unlike my lizard friend, breaking free from what had me stuck was a slow process. Each link had to be broken individually, a repeated process of courageously facing my deepest fears. I was able to break free and now like the lizard my tail is almost fully regrown.
All that is left is to change the scales to match the rest of his body. And that is where I am too. As I recovered from my lost limb I’d forgotten to pay attention to what was growing anew. It's always hard for us to see our own growth but I’ve regrown. I have a shiny new path to walk. I decide the direction and pace. All that is left for me to do is allow this new growth to fully incorporate.
This Capricorn full moon illuminates the mountains I’ve already scaled and reminds me to keep moving forward. Capricorn is an earth sign of tenacious achievement, goat’s climb dexterously to the top of mountains one step at a time. Personally Capricorn rules my 6th house of work and health. So there is no better time then now to allow myself to being a new climb with the strong limbs I’ve regrown. The time of assessment, surrender and regrowth has come to an end, its time to begin.
Photo Credit - https://unsplash.com/@dashkadam
